JUST BECAUSE WE FORGET
Just in case some of you forgot.
How To Drive In Jersey...
You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is New-erk not New-ark. (Actually I think it is Nork - rhymes with Fork) he morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. 
The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy." (Just ask the Gov of NJ) 
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example,
cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second.
However, in Monmouth county, SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly banned from the road. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you on the banned list. 
Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your
entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers,
shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill. 
MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they
do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.
If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it
has been "accidentally activated." If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and
will be "flipped off" accordingly. Be a good sport about this DO NOT RETURN THIS FLIP Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon
Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning
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